My Obscurities

26 going on 27.  Baby, I’m on the brink.  I rub my face with deep treating wrinkle cream and spot targeting wrinkle cream (both by Garnier).  I am prepared.  I am age defying in high definition.  Does it matter?  In a word: yes.

It’s a blessing to grow older but that doesn’t mean I cannot start preparing for the onslaught of Mariana face trenches.

I’m golden.  I’m growing as long as the days.  Feeling the weight of years on my shoulders, my face, my hardened interpretation of the world.  The economy cannot afford to pay me for growing up middle class going on lower class.  Baby, we’re on the brink.

Alas, I cannot control what the government says is good for me but I can take steps to control my best face forward.

It’s hard trying to manage in a country that can no longer offer its citizens a piece of the dream.  I notice this fact every single day.  Driving down the road and noticing that gas stations have closed for reasons undisclosed (there are 3 on the same parkway that have ceased operation indefinitely),  tuition increases, school loans brooding in a corner in my mind, and the indelible fact that I am 26 going on 27 during all the chaos.  How exciting.  Baby, we’re on the brink.  

So, I endeavor to  attack wrinkles and age spots and other stalwart signs of increasing years.  I love it.  

My head hurts and so does this post.

Currently sitting on and spinning:  Me, I’m Not - NiN

I dare say the answer to the above question was a resounding no.  Alas, hope springs eternal.  Thank you Alexander Pope.  I now understand that somewhere, out there, someone will have a cookie (perhaps, two cookies, thus making the word plural) in their backpack.  It is possible..nay, probable, that they are nowhere near my kitchen at the moment but I digress.  My point is that someone is happier than I am due to the presence of cookies.  I loathe you, tasty dessert eater.  You have unleashed my wrath.  Good luck. 

I wish I had brownies in my messenger bag.  It’s just better that way.  Backpacks hold cookies, messenger bags hold brownies.  That way there is no foul transference of flavors.  If I had brownies in my messenger bag then I would have no need to write this blog.  I’d be eating them with a glass of milk.  Again, I digress.

Let me regale you with the reasoning behind appropriate dessert transportation.  Backpacks are made of a harsher material than messenger bags…typically.  If you really stop to consider this and then juxtapose that against the texture of cookies, you will see that the two mix quite well together.  Kind for kind.  Brownies, conversely, are squishier than both cookies and backpacks.  Again, juxtapose that against the texture of messenger bags and there you have it.  Transport your desserts in similar textured bags, people.  Dang, even Alton Brown would agree with that.  I’m shaking my head like I’ve just imparted incredible wisdom.

Because I have.

God bless!

Ah, sweet release.  The fluttering heart that beats within my chest cries out for the soulful sounds of ringing purchases.  Not really.  I just have nothing better to say.  Food City is not Sparta.  Not even close.  Walmart, on the other hand, is remarkably close.  We used to have a fathomless pit in the middle of the store (across from the fitting room) that held the remains of fallen free-thinking associates.  Once a morning, the management team would make us gather around as the list was read.  Those condemned to suffer the misfortunes of The Pit would file energetically to it’s massive edge and happily chuck themselves over the brim.  It seems as though the fate of said Pit was more easily accepted than spending one more moment listening to screaming banshees yell at us about customer service.  One in particular made it a point to tell us that we really ought to “take care of our customers” every hour on the hour.

Said manager is no longer at WalSparta.  She apparently found the otherside was full of vast riches and rewards.  They weren’t necessarily her’s to take but it is what it is.  At this point, I will switch movies metaphors, comparisons, and sundry other english tricks in order to provide a change of scenery and prevent bordem.  

Imagine, if you will, a dark Detroit street in the middle of winter.  This is Action Alley.  It’s snow filled and dangerous.  Customers are gang members packing shopping carts instead of Glock 9 millis.  Still, they are every bit as wolfish and harsh as any shadow cast figure you might meet.  There, amongst the hustle and bustle of an inner-cityesque shopping pavilion resides the antagonist of our story: the screaming Customer Service Banshee.  

Enter the protagonists: four employees who are too inherently quick witted to completely buy the tripe she’s selling.  The Banshee is far too manic in her admiration for a corporation to be sincere.  In fact, they feel it’s outright false.  A fallacy that, as it turns out, was created in order to hide her nefarious misdeeds from dull eyes.

Long story short: there’s a battle (point system enacted, tempers raged, sarcasm ensued, and people quit), a theft on the grand scale, and justice (HA!).

Sadly, in the movie (Four Brothers) the bad guy looses.  In this case, the thieving Banshee is given a slap on the wrist and sent along her way with a year’s worth of probation.  Hardly what I’d call fair.  Oh well.  I jumped into the pit with a grin on my face ages before she broke through her facade and stole from the WalDetroit.  That’s all well and good but I still harbor some resentment.

Had I known of her insidious intentions before I took the plunge…well, I would NOT have been content to just roll my eyes each time her voice sang out across the PA.  It was really irritating.  The kind of voice that chases you through dark, abysmal caverns in your dreams.  It was like nails grating on chalk boards.  I shudder to remember.  Those of us that have escaped still talk about her utterly annoying PA announcements.  

Ha!  What a day.  Huzzah for pointless blog entries!

God bless!

P.S. Food City is INFINTELY better.  No mandatory pit meetings or Detroit shopping alleys.

I’m posting the following in hopes that those reading might somehow be swayed to exhibit a modicum of respect while completing their holiday shopping.  Consider this a guideline on shopping etiquette.  It would behoove you to adhere to what you are about to read should you expect decency from your cashier, helpful associate, or bagger.  Trust me.  

1. Cashiers are NOT mind readers.  We do not deal tarot cards prior to your purchase and have NO IDEA what you expect of us short of ringing up your purchase.  

2. Refer to number one and then explain to us in a kindly manner AT THE BEGINNING of the transaction that you have multiple orders, etc.

3. Our position behind the register does NOT indicate a lesser societal status.  There is a good chance we’re smarter than you.  Do NOT give us cause to subtley slam your misconceptions into the ground.  You will NOT win.

4. Refer to number 3 before you assume that we will be doing this for the rest of our working lives.  Most of us are in school.  Those who are not in school deserve more respect than the rest of us.  Do NOT make them feel like half-tards because they are working in retail.  The financial situation in this country is dire and you could be next, fool.

5.  It is NOT our fault you have had a bad day, your significant other cheated on you with your best friend, your dog ran away, and you lost the only winning billion dollar lottery ticket in the world.  Truth be told, had you been nicer, we probably would have exhibited some sympathy toward your plight.  Leave it in the car, ok.

6.  Detailed instructions are appreciated but only if delivered prior to the end of transaction.  Nobody likes it when you have us unbag everything just so you can tell us where to place your grapes.  Seriously.  You are NOT Monk and if you are, you would have bagged the crap yourself. 

7. Your purchase does NOT begin until AFTER we have finished with the customer ahead of you.  Your status in this country is not such that it demands the retail world stop spinning until after you’ve completed your purchase.  Wait your ever loving turn, dude.

8. Refer to number 7 and do NOT cop an attitude because we ignore you.  Again, I reiterate, it is NOT YOUR TURN.

9. When we wish you a Merry Christmas, wish us one in return.  It’s just good manners.

10. When we ask you how you are doing, do NOT ignore us.  Refer to numbers 3 and 4 and answer our question.  Again, it’s just good manners.

11. When the end of the shift is approaching, we will be more distant than typical.  We want to go home to our families just as much as you do…if not more.  Please keep your aggravation to a bare minimum.  It is this precise moment that our tolerance levels will be maintaining slightly below zero.  It’s your funeral.  

and finally (for now)…

12. Refer to numbers 1 - 11 and remember that we are people.  When cut, we bleed.  When hurt, we cry.  When pissed off, we charge you extra and forget to void.  

Currently spinning: Four Brothers - a movie.  Huzzah!

God bless and Merry Christmas!

One more exam and a monthly budget and then the blissful nothingness of free time.  I fully intend on being ridiculously slothful and slovenly.  Well, slovenly might be pushing it.  I very rarely venture outside my house without makeup and perfectly coiffed hair.  I’m not vain, just respectful of other people.  Ha!  I don’t want to subject them to the jaded, purple eyed monster that is me without the appropriate amount of sleep.  I even cringe at myself during those moments.  I also have a tendency to be sharp tongued and quick with the sarcasm when I am exhausted.  I hope to correct that during my month of nothing.  Ah, sweet bliss…

Such is life, though, and one must suck it up if one wishes to have monies in the future.  I will work hard now and sleep later.  

I’m planning on seeing Valkyrie over the break.  There’s something about Tom Cruise playing a Nazi that is inherently believable.  I have no trouble buying his portrayal of a goose stepping, funny pants wearing, mean ass with a chip on his shoulder.  Anyone else feeling me?  Yeah…I thought so.  

Currently spinning: Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron and Wine

God bless!!

It has been a long time.  I feel as though I’ve been on extended vacation though I haven’t actually left Bristol.  I finished reading the Twilight series.  Utterly fabulous.  I cannot sing enough praises.  I’ve also been preparing for the end of Fall Semester ‘08.  It’s bittersweet.  In truth, it feels as though it flew by.  I have found myself wondering where my days, weeks, months have gone.  I’m suddenly terrified that I’m losing so many precious moments.  I can see my life passing by and, though I am enjoying every second, I feel that there are little things that are going unnoticed.  Like the color of snow and the visible points on points when it is too cold for them to melt immediately. 

Or the subtle shift in color - green to gold to red to orange to empty - as the leaves recreate their yearly waltz through the season.  The smell of the air when it’s way too early to logically be awake and the sun is just pulling itself above the horizon.  It’s almost like the sunlight has a scent.  It does.  It smells fresh and brand new.  

My love purchased a camera to give to me with Christmas wishes.  He knows how much I love to capture moments on film.  I can’t wait to use it.  I want to freeze the sun in the exact moment where the smell of new life is palpable.  A memory of how beautiful this world is.  I’ll have plenty of time to catch up after this week.  An entire month to run crazy screaming through sundry moments of free time.  Please, have no doubt that I will live life to the fullest during those precious moments.  I’ll post some pictures of my sojourn, too, so that you can live vicariously through my vision.  

That is my Christmas wish for whomever stumbles upon my blog: life, happiness, hope.  May God bless your lives with beauty. 

I will not be taking another blogging sabbatical anytime soon.

Currently spinning: Twilight - The Twilight Singers.

God Bless!

I think I am ill.  I can barely eat.  Argh.  I can feel my stomach tying itself in knots but everything is so unappealing to my taste buds.  It’s very curious.  It’s also not really incredibly interesting…

An impromptu trip to the Exit 7 Books - A - Million proved to be most interesting.  Apparently, next Friday, Glenn Beck will be there signing books and shaking hands.  I wanted to meet McCain (or attempt to view him from afar) when he visited Blountville.  Unfortunately, experimentation beckoned and I was obligated to heed its call.  So, that is what makes this visitation exceedingly awesome: no lab on Fridays.  Huzzah!  In your face frustrating lab participants.  You shant impose upon my political commentary this time. 

The BAM trip also produced yet another book purchase.  Not very surprising given that I read like other people breathe.  Still, I’m slightly unsure of my choice this evening.  I had, at first, kicked about the idea of purchasing Into the Wild but instead settled on the saccharine sweet, empty calorie option.  I bought Twilight.  I’m withholding the apology to myself pending further reading.  I have it on very good authority that it isn’t horrible.  It’s just Splenda.  Here’s to reading that doesn’t involve important life lessons.  I mean, it’s not like I’m going to meet an actual British vampire and discuss current events, life, and shoe sizes, now is it?  Dubious, at best.   

In other news: somewhere in this wide world, the shit has hit the fan.  It’s true.  Not meaning to burst bubbles or kick boxes of puppies…

God bless!

Currently spinning: Zoo Station - U2.  I’m also ready to take it to the street, Mr. Bono, and it is indeed alright.   

I know good people.  They really are kind, compassionate, brilliant individuals and I am proud to call them friends.  As you can see, we wrote love on our arms so that others would know we care.  I hope many of you did the same.  It really was such a small thing yet it had potential to make a BIG difference in someone’s life.  It is what is.  So many people hurt and have no one to lean on. So, today, many people on this planet took a stand.  We screamed without voices.  We acknowledged the suffering many.  We stood up and announced to those in need, “You can lean on us.”

I had a sobering conversation tonight.  Someone very dear to my heart is stiff upper lipping it at the moment.   Over the course of our discourse, she mentioned that her struggle is not the responsibility of anyone other than herself.  She felt bad that she might be imposing upon those trying to help.  The only thing I could think of to say was that she was right and wrong.  Right in the sense that we were not to blame and that she has her life to live.  Wrong in the sense that our friendship makes us responsible for her.  We have a duty to lift each other up during times of stress.  We are responsible.  I AM MY BROTHER’S KEEPER.

Too many people ignore those in need.  Ignored, if you will, because they fail to measure up to ridiculous social standards.  Filed away under It’s Not My Problem.  It is. 

We all walk this road together and we have a choice to make.  We can make the journey home unbearable or we can help as many as possible along the way.  I choose the latter. 

God bless.

Currently spinning: The Story So Far - Flogging Molly

Not feeling very well today.  I’m kind of wondering if I’ve snagged a bug.  Although, truthfully, it’s probably just exhaustion.  I really am burning the candle at both ends.  I hate this.  As a rule, I’m not a whiner but I really am physically and emotionally spent.  I just want to throw that into the universe.  Let everyone know that I’m freaking beat.  Blah.

More important blogisms:

Today is Veterans Day.  I bailed on my Intro to Personality Theory class in order to attend the campus memorial service.  I’m glad I did. I am acquainted with some of the ROTC people and it was nice to see their honor and devotion to the service.  The turnout was impressive but I was informed that is typically not the case.  That saddens me.

At what point do we turn loose of stupid political opinions and honor those who have dedicated their lives to protecting us?  I’m just saying.  Don’t be an ass.  

You know, I stood there in the cold and listened to the heartfelt gratitude as it poured from the mouths of many a veteran.  I shifted on my feet and smiled at the people I knew.  I felt the pain as the veteran in front of me cried during the playing of Taps.  I cried.

And, as I sit here this evening, weighted down by the imminence of an approaching crud, I still feel that man’s pain.  I’m also thinking of the wreath placed in memory of the fallen.  I know, beyond a doubt, that sacrifice is not always physical.

It is what it is.  A purposeful loss so that others may gain.  I shudder to think what this country would be like had they not stood up for each other and those waiting at home.  To ignore them on this day is, in my opinion, akin to spitting on their loss.  I am proud of my father, my boyfriend, my friends, and my great uncles.  I am proud of those I do not know and those that will continue to answer the call for service.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.  You’ve done well.  Enjoy your day and know that it was never in vain.  God bless and keep you.

A prayer for our soldiers and troops (Link at the bottom.  I did not write this.  I believe Mary Fairchild did):

Dear Heavenly Father,

As we remember those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom, we think of how they have followed in the footsteps of your son, our Savior, Jesus Christ. Please hold our service men and women in your strong arms. Cover them with your sheltering grace and presence as they stand in the gap for our protection.

We also remember the families of our troops, and ask for your unique blessings to fill their homes and your peace, provision and strength to fill their lives.

May the members of our armed forces be filled with courage to face each day and may they trust in the Lord’s mighty power to accomplish each task. Let our military brothers and sisters feel our love and support.

In the name of Jesus. Amen.

Memorial Prayer website

Currently Spinning: Taps.

I have just wasted hours of my life updating Myspace.  I have no idea why.  I have spells. Myspace rearranging spells…

I digress.  I’m sure many of you out there in the vast confines of the interweb have tried Kim and Scott’s Gourmet Pretzels.  No doubt you have also developed an unwavering love for this ambrosia in bread form.  I’m just saying.  I have.  I lied a bit on the unwavering part.  i don’t really care for the pizza pretzel.  It’s kind of processed…like grocery store marinara.  Shameless pretzel promotion.  End of trasmission.

I’m still spinning the Young Dubliners.  It’s my new thing.  I like them.

I’m getting the distinct impression that this entry will be devoid of anything worth anything.  It’s coming off as the ramblings of an exhausted student.  You know, though, when am I not?  I pray for a few consecutive days that do not involve homework or papers or experiments.  I have a test and an article due on Wednesday and a personality theory due on the 2nd.  It’s winding down but not quickly enough.  Not.  Quickly.  Enough.

In all honesty, I think I’d be very sad without edumacation.  It’s also my thing.  I like it.

But.  I also like sleep and I seem to be doing without more and more of it.  I very much would love to travel to Ireland and take a nap.  After my snooze, I’d eat a pretzel.  Then I’d probably nap again.  At some point, I’m sure, I’d toss a bit of exploring into the mix.  Just for variety.  You understand.

Good night.

Currently Spinning: Mondo Bongo - Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros.  God bless!