My Obscurities

Ah, sweet release.  The fluttering heart that beats within my chest cries out for the soulful sounds of ringing purchases.  Not really.  I just have nothing better to say.  Food City is not Sparta.  Not even close.  Walmart, on the other hand, is remarkably close.  We used to have a fathomless pit in the middle of the store (across from the fitting room) that held the remains of fallen free-thinking associates.  Once a morning, the management team would make us gather around as the list was read.  Those condemned to suffer the misfortunes of The Pit would file energetically to it’s massive edge and happily chuck themselves over the brim.  It seems as though the fate of said Pit was more easily accepted than spending one more moment listening to screaming banshees yell at us about customer service.  One in particular made it a point to tell us that we really ought to “take care of our customers” every hour on the hour.

Said manager is no longer at WalSparta.  She apparently found the otherside was full of vast riches and rewards.  They weren’t necessarily her’s to take but it is what it is.  At this point, I will switch movies metaphors, comparisons, and sundry other english tricks in order to provide a change of scenery and prevent bordem.  

Imagine, if you will, a dark Detroit street in the middle of winter.  This is Action Alley.  It’s snow filled and dangerous.  Customers are gang members packing shopping carts instead of Glock 9 millis.  Still, they are every bit as wolfish and harsh as any shadow cast figure you might meet.  There, amongst the hustle and bustle of an inner-cityesque shopping pavilion resides the antagonist of our story: the screaming Customer Service Banshee.  

Enter the protagonists: four employees who are too inherently quick witted to completely buy the tripe she’s selling.  The Banshee is far too manic in her admiration for a corporation to be sincere.  In fact, they feel it’s outright false.  A fallacy that, as it turns out, was created in order to hide her nefarious misdeeds from dull eyes.

Long story short: there’s a battle (point system enacted, tempers raged, sarcasm ensued, and people quit), a theft on the grand scale, and justice (HA!).

Sadly, in the movie (Four Brothers) the bad guy looses.  In this case, the thieving Banshee is given a slap on the wrist and sent along her way with a year’s worth of probation.  Hardly what I’d call fair.  Oh well.  I jumped into the pit with a grin on my face ages before she broke through her facade and stole from the WalDetroit.  That’s all well and good but I still harbor some resentment.

Had I known of her insidious intentions before I took the plunge…well, I would NOT have been content to just roll my eyes each time her voice sang out across the PA.  It was really irritating.  The kind of voice that chases you through dark, abysmal caverns in your dreams.  It was like nails grating on chalk boards.  I shudder to remember.  Those of us that have escaped still talk about her utterly annoying PA announcements.  

Ha!  What a day.  Huzzah for pointless blog entries!

God bless!

P.S. Food City is INFINTELY better.  No mandatory pit meetings or Detroit shopping alleys.

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